This is just about the saddest thing I have ever read. This is from Dave Alvin. Chris was his best friend, his accordian player, the Hope to his Crosby...and one of the best musicians Southern California has ever been home to.
Chris Gaffney 1950 - 2008
My other big brother, Chris Gaffney passed away Thursday morning, April 17,
2008.
I really don't know what to say right now but I feel that I have to say
something. First of all, I want to again thank everyone that sent messages
to Chris and donated funds to his cause. It means more than you'll know to
Chris, his family and me. We are still raising money at www.helpgaff.com to
help with the existing medical bills and other various expenses including a
forthcoming memorial service.
After twenty-some years I have thousands of memories of Chris. Through those
years of songs, laughs, countless barrooms, eternal highways, broken hearts,
screw-ups, bail outs, close calls, busted strings, elusive dreams, flat
tires, stalled engines, hard hangovers, bad gigs, great gigs, in between
gigs, tragedies, triumphs, secret jokes, bad TV, worse food and now, tears,
Gaffney always had my back. I never had to worry about nothing or nobody if
Gaffney was with me. I don't know what I ever did to deserve it but, God, I
was blessed to have Chris Gaffney as my best friend.
Chris's and my friend, B.J. in Omaha, said it best for me in a email
yesterday. She said that I now have a "wild angel looking out for me."
Yeah, I do believe that's true.
I'll still see you in Cuervo, brother.
Dave
..and wow do I mean boy! Seemed nice enough, a little younger than me, but only by 2 years, funny, smart, not hideous looking ( I don't go for conventionally hot guys---they are a mess) and seemed a bit awkward with the whole "we kinda like each other, we should go out" thing.
So, he got off work around 9 and we met at joint near his house as he was starving. Like I said, 9pm---I'd already eaten and was just putzing around the house. I was having a good time, fun banter going back & forth. Maybe we should head to Starbucks for coffee, even though the restaurant we were in was comfy & empty, but I'm a sucker for caffeine. Off we go, the place is closed. No worries, we sit in his car & chat for a bit...should we do something tomorrow? Love to! I was thinking about going to a friend's art show thingy to support his super cool internet radio station. Total low-brow tattoo art---right up his alley---we could go, I say. Nothing biting so move on.
The night comes to an end. "We'll talk tomorrow about doing something." Sounds like a plan, Stan! He has the day off and I have to work, but off at 6. I text at noon, but apparently am not responding to his flirty the way he thinks I should and starts to get a little nasty. Oooookay. I say " Let's go for take 2" still I get the nast. I say maybe I misunderstood, thought you wanted to hang. He shoots me the bird with this lovely ditty "Stop messing with my mind. Why don't you tell me what your "thing" is since I didn't know I had to be doing your "thing" tonight. I am not a mind reader."
Done. Click. Game Over. One "date" in and the boy is giving me the hostility? Negative ghost rider, the pattern is full.
1. While 40 may be the new 30, Tuesday is NOT the new Monday. Please see #6.
2. You are as happy as you set your mind to be. If you're miserable, it's my guess that's all your fault.
3. In this day & age even with all this great technology, do not believe for one second that a text message on my cell phone replaces a phone call.
4. Words don't mean anything, it's your actions that count. You can tell me you're sorry a thousand times over and still it means nothing. (If your mouth writes a check, your ass had better be able to cash it.)
5. Just about everyone I know needs to get a little gratitude and stop whining. People waste too much time worrying about what they haven’t got, they fail to realize that none of it defines who they are. Things are simply that—things. Things come & go. Take a step back and see how far better off you are than some people around you.
6. You should say what you mean and mean what you say. I have yet to figure out what’s so hard about it.
7. Everything you do comes back to you tenfold (think about that next time the urge comes over you to fuck someone over) -- good or bad.
8. People in LA need to get a grip on the whole driving in the rain thing. Sweet Jesus…it should NEVER take me 2 ½ hours to get to Hollywood from my house.
9. If something is important enough, you find a way to make it happen. And if it isn’t important, let it go. Don’t hang on because it just might become important down the road---when nothing else pans out.
10. You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away & know when to run...
11. If sex is all your relationship is about---someone needs to be getting paid.
12. Drama does not belong in your life. This is why we pay money for theatre tickets.
13. "Hey, let's hang out" is NOT a euphemism for "Let's get butt naked and fuck." At least not in English, anyway.
I love time। It's an amazing thing. It can heal all wounds, wound all heels, play tricks on you, and can cloud your thinking. It's like dementia for the masses.
I am a firm believer in letting things go। Holding onto the past takes far more energy than I have. What's the saying? Holding on to resentment is like pissing yourself...you're the only one who feels it?
People who are in my life, people who are no longer in my life...all of them have shaped who I am in one way or another। I don't have to like all those people in either category (and no one says I have to....who made up THOSE rules??), but I certainly don't need to go around hanging on to any disdain or hard feelings. If you are in my life---there is a reason. Whether that reason is conscious or unconscious is of no matter. If you are out of my life, there is a reason---who cares who did what to whom. I've not sought to renew those relationships for their own reasons. Mainly because people love to hold onto the distant and not so distant past. (present company included) I see no need to talk shit under the guise of "telling it like it is." I yam who I yam and I'm certainly not perfect. Never claimed to be. Don't recall ever aspiring to be.
I love time. It makes things so much clearer. Like the man said: Illumination comes so hard.
....of "I love it when।"
Ok...I'll admit it। I'm a Scrabble addict. So much so that I play it online to unwind and kind of blank out from school, work and what not. Some people want to be chatty when you're playing and others I am assuming are like me and are playing, reading e-mail, dowloading music, etc, etc.
Then there are the occasional freaks।
Like the guy that wants to play Strip Scrabble ( I am a geek, but COME ON) when I tell him I have no webcam (as if!), he still wants to play। Whuuuut? He leaves after I stop responding. You always get the pervs asking questions that I am not about to answer. I mean, these guys would make Bukowski blush! (I have yet to figure out how it's ok to talk to people you have never met in such a fashion, but whatever)
Tonight was the topper! I'm playing a few games, watching stuff on YouTube, etc, etc when a Chatty Cathy wants to have a game. He asks if I'm shy (geekspeak for will I talk about sex with him). I politely respond we can chat as long as it is about the game or the weather. Evidently, I was responding in the affirmative to his offer....my geekspeak dictionary is in the car. I again respond with "conversations of this nature are not my thing. not to mention you are married and I'm not okay with that." Because they aren't and I'm not. एव
He keeps persisting and when it's MY turn to ask questions...turns out not ONLY is he married, but he's got 3 teenage daughters। I see my opening. He starts asking why I'm so hung up, blah, blah, blah...he can't have this type of conversation in real life, etcetc. So, I asked him if one of his girls went on line and some perv started in with the "what's your sexiest feature below your neck" bullshit lines, would he like it? He said no, that's why he asked my age. Dumb ass. I told him I could have simply lied about my age and he comes back with "well, shame on you if you lied." SOMEONE'S missing the point.
Look fella, I may be hurtling towards 40, but I'm still someone's little girl.
